


Leaving You

by Usagibean



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Bickering, F/M, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Melodrama, The Calling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:58:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usagibean/pseuds/Usagibean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>King Alistair and Queen Illuminae Theirin have been fighting. The Calling is ruining them in the worst ways possible. Wardens are disappearing and while she was already planning to investigate, now the Warden Queen receives a lead she cannot refuse to pass up. Alistair doesn't want her to leave. Once the truth is revealed, will he let her leave, or will she be forced to stay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Leaving You

**Author's Note:**

> Illuminae is pronounced as Il-loo-min-ay . The last two letters are pronounced as AY as in the word BAY.
> 
> Available to read on Tumblr at: http://usagibean.tumblr.com/post/113628407058/leaving-you

“I won't let you leave!” Alistair slammed his fist into his desk. His voice stern and shaking with unhappiness. Lady Theirin stopped at the door way and proceeded to turn around.

“I HAVE to go,” her face pulled taut. Eyebrows furrowed as she glared at him with black coffee eyes. Her lips pulled tight and straight, this was her serious face. The face that said she wasn't going to back down. The face that she had stared down the Archdemon Urthemial with. 

Alistair felt a shiver travel down his spine, he rarely earned this look. Not unless he was being too brash or he was being completely unreasonable. However, he didn't think he was in this situation. He swallowed as unnoticeably as he could muster. 'Maker forgive me' he thought to himself as he held his gaze with hers. 

The King's brow furrowed again as he ignored the itching song in the back of his mind. His own eyes fell cold and sharpened. His frown turned into a strong grimace as his anger and confusion continued to furl within him. “I said no.” Firm. Commanding. The voice was one he had learned over his years as King. One he never liked to use around her lest she asked for it in the bedroom. 

Illuminae Theirin's eyes narrowed. Her already thin and tiny lips shrank even more, if it were even possible. They pursed tightly together as her chin rose. She was above throwing a tantrum like a child, even if she wished she could. “You know you can't stop me.” Soft and tense, her voice didn't waver in the slightest. Her fists laid at her hips, her body tense. Although she may have been wearing a noble's gown, she still reeked of her Warden intimidation. 

The king clenched his jaw, making his square features even more noticeable. Illuminae saw his teeth grinding, something he had come to do when he became frustrated. She did not let him know she had noticed. Alistair stared at her for what felt like an eternity, but was only a matter of seconds.

“You know that train of thought will not stop me from trying.” Had he been younger, this entire fight would have folded him like molten steel. He would have succumb to her intimidation and made a flighty joke to escape from the tension. The Calling felt like it was tearing them apart. “And I will try, and I will lock you in a tower if I have to. And even then, if you pick the locks, I will find you and bring you back. I will have the smiths meld the door shut with only a tiny opening for food. I DO NOT want you leaving this castle.” So he had lived long enough to feel like he was making himself an enemy of the one person he had come to hold closest in his life. The vile words dripping from his mouth astonished even him. He could see it now, the fight wearing on her. He would not say it, but he saw the hurt in her stare. The hurt she was desperate to hide. He had learned to decode her, at her worst, for sometimes it was the only thing that would show him the right path to take.

“I cannot believe you just said that.” Illuminae folded her arms across her chest as she herself began to clench her jaw.

“I did, and I'm willing to do worse if it means keeping you safe.” Alistair's fist placated to open palms resting on his desk, holding his weight. This was making him uncomfortable, he did not like having to do this. 

“Keeping me safe does not do anyone any good. I know you hear it too.” The queen paused as her weight shifted. “You might not hear it as strong as I do-”

“What do you mean as strong as you do?!” Alistair cut off his wife. His brow raised and he now genuinely looked a mixture of concerned and confused. Illuminae's face softened ever so slightly. They had conversed about the song in the back of their heads. The strange thoughts that surrounded them. Alistair had once confessed to her that it was like a whisper, a soft and distant lullaby. The queen, in an attempt to comfort her king, had agreed it was the same for her. It couldn't be further from the truth. 

“It's not a whisper. It's a ballad, a strong voice beckoning me Alistair...” She looked at the floor, her composure falling. “It calls so loud, I'm so confused.” She looked up at him, “You know we aren't the only ones hearing it. I've told you of the reports I've received from Amaranthine. It's getting worse.”

Alistair collapsed into the chair behind him, his face paler than usual. Slouching in it, he placed his hands over his face. Illuminae calmly approached him in his chair. She knelt next to him, placing her hands on his thighs. She didn't care if she soiled her gown, material possessions were small in the presence of fear and worry. Her strong hands gripped his thigh as she spoke again.

“Nathaniel sent another bird. It arrived this morning. More of my wardens have disappeared. The newest recruits are hearing the song. People are abandoning their posts all over Fereldan. I have to find out why we are hearing this.” She paused and held her breath for a moment. She wondered if she should tell him that Morrigan had contacted her. Would it be wise to discuss such things? Illuminae decided this was one was better left unsaid.

“I need to find our Wardens. We need them.” She placed her forehead on his leg, and frowned. She didn't want to leave him, but it was necessary. Morrigan had given her a lead she could not refuse. 

Alistair removed his hands from his face. Placing them on top of hers, their eyes met again. His were somber and his pupils wavered. She knew he was worried. It was painfully obvious this entire time.

“But I need you,” he pleaded with a gentle voice. His hands clutched hers firm and tight. A sigh pushed through Lady Theirin's lips. She flipped her hands around so she could clasp them with his. Her face softened as she leaned forward and rested her head on their hands.

“I know,” her reply was faint, and her lips traced the skin on the back of his hands. She planted them on his hand, kissing his roughed skin, before looking up at him. Alistair frowned and slid out of his chair. Pushing it back so he could sit on the floor next to her, behind his desk. He moved his hands to her face, holding it gently. He held her like this for what felt like an eternity to them both. Their eyes held onto each other, until Alistair's face welcomed his feelings of distress.

“'Minae, what aren't you telling me?” His fingers rolled through the waves in her hair, as his eyes darkened and he drew closer to her. Illuminae was good at ruses, but it seemed her King had wisened over the years of their marriage. Learning her tells, how careful she formed her words, and all the things she relied on to make a solid bluff. It seemed nothing could escape his knowledge now, if it truly bothered her. 

Illuminae broke their gaze, looking down at her lap. She pulled his hands off of her face and into her lap, where she held onto them. The truth was easier to swallow than whatever she had planned. If she could even remember her plan now. Of course she had only spun a little white lie. Having told him half of the reason as to why she wanted to leave. She never blatantly misdirected her own husband, knowing that honesty was what worked best with him. However, speaking of Morrigan without context was only sure to ruffle him. Illuminae sighed, pausing for a brief moment before speaking to him.

“I'm sorry my love. I've received a lead,” another pause held heavy in the air before Alistair interrupted. 

“A lead on what?” The kings hands gripped onto hers tightly. He wanted to shake the truth from her, but it would only frustrate her. Rushing was not something his queen liked to do. Illuminae looked up at him, her eyes darker than ever.

“A cure.” Her face lost most expression. 

“A cure?” He repeated her own words, confused.

“A cure for the taint in our blood.”

There was silence for what felt like eternity. Alistair fell back on his hands and stared at her, his mouth agape ever so slightly. Illuminae bit her lip and exhaled through her nose. 

“Are... you sure?” He wiped a hand over his face, pulling on his skin. He then rubbed at the bridge of his nose with a frown on his face. “The last time you said this, you found nothing...”

Illuminae tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She frowned at him and took her time to form her next words within her mind. She looked down at her knees one more time before finally looking at her husband again.

“Yes, I'm sure. The lead came from Morrigan.” As soon as the name rolled off her lips, she watched her husband's face drain of color. They chose not to speak of her after Illuminae came back from chasing her. Came back empty handed. There were other reasons as well, amongst them a possible child. After suffering so much loss between her and her King, they had sworn to not speak of Morrigan unless it was important. The tension in the silence between them was growing uncomfortable. Alistair sighed heavily as he looked at his wife. His color was returning, but his blatant lack of expression was concerning to Illuminae. So much so, that she looked away and at her knees again.

“How positive is she?” He queried.

“She seemed pretty sure of the information she had obtained.” Illuminae twiddled her fingers as she then continued. “She even said she would have not sent it otherwise.”

Alistair looked at her intently. Illuminae couldn't read him. Was he confused? Was he upset? She was so unsure of this moment until he spoke.

“Do you still trust her?” his lips fell silent afterwards. Illuminae took her hands and pressed them together, bringing them to her lips in a ball. A heavy sigh pushed through her nose as she shifted her body, sitting on her knees. Her hands once more fell to her lap.

It took her a while to gather her courage, despite knowing the answer almost immediately. While her answer wouldn't be surprising. It could still seem so, after all years that had passed. Morrigan left them, without word, and Illuminae chased. There was a child out there with the blood of Alistair flowing through its veins. A reminder of deeds done in the past, something Illuminae still wasn't sure about in the present. Morrigan was one of her closest confidant. Someone who she poured time into and respected with every inch of her soul. Even after the betrayal and being left alone in front of a silent eluvian, she still felt the same as she always had.

“Yes.” She looked at her husband. “I don't think I ever will stop doing so, even after anything.”  


Alistair's mouth pulled back slightly, an unsure face. 

“Could she possibly have an ulterior motive?” King Theirin never succeeded in fully trusting the witch from the Kocari Wilds. He had come close thanks to her involvement in saving both his and Illuminae's life. However, it wasn't enough to trust her complicity. He would wonder now, to this very moment, what became of the child she would have conceived and her plans for it.

“Possibly, but she wouldn't have taken the time to break her cover and send me a message if it were not worth investigating. She spent the last several years hiding away from us,” the Queen paused, she didn't want to mention the letter. Morrigan spoke of the child, only lightly. His name was Keiran and he was healthy. She didn't bother to go into detail, instead only assured that she had truly learned how to love another being. Her letter was almost apologetic, wishing she could help more. Morrigan wouldn't say it, but Illuminae knew that she had missed the camaraderie. 

“Especially since she's horrible about not leaving trails. She wouldn't have risked us knowing where she is, if it wasn't a lead she genuinely thought could not help us.” Lady Theirin to her husbands hands into hers. His face was tired, he didn't like thinking about the could-have-beens. She knew he thought of them from time to time. After everything they had been to up to that point, how could he not. She certainly could not stop it herself. She rubbed his hands with hers, they had softened over the years. Much unlike the hardness they had when they were younger. 

“I have to go Alistair...” Her face shown with determination. It was then, there at that point, that Alistair noticed a glimmer in her eyes he hadn't seen in years. She had finally shown it, through all her pain. Hope. The glimmer that had pushed her through the battles with Darkspawn. The glimmer he last saw years ago. He had thought it had died, thought his wife growing weary and cold. She could still show the affection, but he had known better. 

Alistair grabbed her shoulders and pressed her down to the floor, his lips meeting hers without notice. Illuminae's eyes opened wide at her surprise as she lay beneath him now. Had their fight dissolved? She certainly was confused. She couldn't resist it though. The kiss burned with passion she hadn't felt from him in over a year since they had started hearing the Calling. She pressed her hands into his chest, lightly grabbing at his tunic. She sighed through her nose as her arms then made their way around his neck.

Finally he went for air, breaking the seal between their lips. Suddenly, it was as if the fight never happened. His worst words were faint echoes in the hallway, far away from them now. Illuminae's eyes fluttered open, almost dreamy now. In her haze she noticed her husbands face. Soft and calming, relaxed and otherworldly. That look, it was the same she saw on their wedding day. The one she saw when they were younger. The one he used to look at her with, longing to escape his work and spend the day in bed with her. 

Illuminae pulled at her lower lip with her teeth. Alistair's lips pulled into a faint smile.

“Wh- What was that for?” Queen Theirin stumbled with her words. “I thought we were fighting.” Alistair chortled softly. Had she not known herself? The way she looked moments before? Clearly not.

“Because, my dear, I couldn't resist.” He beamed a toothy smile at her. Illuminae's face became a mix of confusion and embarrassment. She didn't have to press further because Alistair wholly obliged.

“You remember the times when I couldn't wait to feel your lips against mine? Well let's just say suddenly I feel like that silly little Warden recruit, who wants nothing more than to give you a rose he picked in Lothering.” Alistair rested his weight on one arm as his opposite hand brushed hair away from his wife's reddening face. 

“I- uh,” Illuminae bit her lip again, unsure of how to respond. She couldn't help it really, as he was now incredibly distracting. 

“You can go,” the king touched her cheek softly, it was warm and soft. His wife's eyes widened a little, surprised that something happened to change his mind. What was it? Her eyes warmed, the gold returning to the pool of chocolate. Her face softened and she smiled invitingly at him. 

“I'm not sure what I did to change your mind so quickly, but perhaps I should do it more often.” She giggled softly at her own words. Alistair seemed to be in agreement because he was still smiling. Like a proper town idiot drunk on mead. Alistair's smile faded as he donned a more soft and serious expression.

“You should, however, I do have conditions,” the King started.

“Oh here we go again, all business and no play. So grown up of you,” Illuminae joked and rolled her eyes. Alistair pursed his lips together and resisted a laugh.

“You must write me every week, if I do not receive letters, I will send soldiers after you.” Illuminae chortled, it was a reasonable request. “Secondly, if you come across any good cheese, send some back to me. You know how I love it when you bring me back cheese.” Now Illuminae was laughing, it was rich and hearty, and her face was reddened further. It was then that she felt her husband's hand again on her face, steadying it. She opened her eyes to peer at him, his face dream like again.

“Lastly,” King Theirin's voice became breathy, “Spend one last night with me, no one else. No business, no interruptions.” He paused again as Illuminae felt her breath caught in her chest. His commanding voice being used right. She felt like a young noble girl again under him, wary of love and yet so wanting of it. “No jokes, just us until the day breaks.” 

Alistair pressed his body to hers and embraced her in another kiss. Illuminae didn't have to say a word, her face had already agreed to it for her. Suddenly, the calling was gone, if only for the night. Finding themselves again amidst the chaos in their minds.

They mingled for an hour or so behind his desk before skirting away to the bedroom. Their laughter could be heard amongst the halls of the castle, as maids whispered gleefully of their endeavors. Staff was pleasantly surprised at their return to their old selves, if only for a night.

In the morning she departed with a kiss and a promise to come back alive.


End file.
